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Education has always been highly valued in our family. My husband and I both attended Ivy League schools, as did two of our siblings (the third went to Stanford). That said, I knew the landscape for college admissions had evolved since we applied to college, and I wanted to deepen my expertise so I could better help my own daughter as she explored her future.
The initial intention was to just get our daughter started with a counselor. My then-12-year-old was appalled: “I’m only in 7th grade! Why do I have to think about college right now?”
Here’s the larger story. She was training 17+ hours a week in the junior program of a competitive gymnastics club where, if you advanced, the training hours increased significantly each year. We were running out of hours in the day for her to do anything outside of gymnastics. School took whatever time was left, and my husband and I wanted to understand how this level of commitment, plus straight A’s, would position her for a top college. The secondary goal? Getting her there with her mental health intact.
The rigor of her after-school training was intense. The program imposed strict attendance and competition requirements, often leading to some painful FOMO. She also learned some hard lessons far too early: sometimes hard work doesn’t pay off, and sometimes progress depends on factors beyond effort alone (how skills click, physical development, and timing). “What are we doing?” became a frequent question in our house. But because of her love for gymnastics, we kept going year after year, waiting for that next level advancement or competition season.
Toward the end of 7th grade, the academic rigor at school ramped up, and the after-school demands started to feel less sustainable. When we asked our daughter if she wanted to pursue gymnastics at an elite or collegiate level, she didn’t hesitate: “No. I love gymnastics, but I don’t want that to be my whole life.”
That answer is what pushed us to finally secure counseling support. We needed professionals to help us understand whether staying in such a demanding gymnastics program made sense, given the restrictions and commitments involved. Surely this much commitment at such a young age would matter in college admissions, right?
Turns out, the answer was more nuanced than we anticipated.
I walked away from the first meeting wondering why I hadn’t signed up sooner. First, we met with a Former Admissions Officer who opened our eyes to all the possibilities that athletics could offer. It wasn’t a simple continue-or-quit decision. She laid out multiple paths:
· Staying on a high-level competitive track (and the tradeoffs that would require, including potentially restructuring school).
· Pursuing strong academics at her K-12 school, while continuing gymnastics at a more sustainable pace.
· Considering colleges with club or varsity gymnastics opportunities.
· Exploring how athletic discipline could translate into other meaningful extracurricular paths.
There were many directions, and each came with thoughtful pros and cons tied to our long-term goals.
I also met a counselor who felt like the perfect match for our daughter. Our oldest daughter can often be a perfectionist and too hard on herself, so I wanted someone warm, encouraging, positive, and the opposite of her internal critic. The match was immediate. My child walked into that first meeting skeptical and walked out saying, “I love her.” Two meetings later, we heard, “She’s my best friend.” Music to our ears.
Our daughter is now in high school. She maintains a sustainable gymnastics schedule of around 15–16 hours a week, which allows her to fully engage with the academic rigor of her school, including intensive classes in math and science. By early December, her summer plans were mapped out: her counselor helped her identify the best mix of programs and provided support for essay application edits.
Beyond logistics, her counseling team has been instrumental in teaching her to set priorities and work more efficiently. This is crucial for a very busy child, as it directly reduces her stress and workload. She has also been supported in finding the right mix of clubs to join at school and submitting her writing to various competitions that suit her interests. She routinely gets a refresh on time management strategies as well. Not because she procrastinates, but because she pours too much effort into every assignment. Her counselors help her answer the difficult question: What does “good enough” look like for a perfectionist? Finally, monthly writing prompts are helping to prepare her for the distinct style of writing required for college applications, a skill set very different from standard high school coursework.
The right college counselor becomes a support system that your child can turn to at any time, as well as a true partner for parents. They can sometimes have the tough conversations that we aren’t always able to navigate ourselves. For our family, our counseling team has given us something huge: peace in our household. The juggling act of academic choices, summer plans, and extracurricular priorities is now shared with people who truly know our daughter and genuinely care about her growth. Our daughter knows that she has multiple adults in her corner who she can go to for advice, support, and encouragement.
And that is the real power of a college advisor.
